Rich Girl
by Forever Optimistic
Summary: AU. She was a lonely rich girl born into a life of arranged marriages.  He was the reclusive marauder nobody but his friends knew much about.  They were different in almost every way, except that they were falling in love with each other. *Epilogue added*
1. Origins

It was natural for me to judge people from the way they looked, and the way they carried themselves. That's just the way I was brought up. I lived in a society where looks and money are everything and where what others think counts more than their education. I lived in a world where social gatherings were held regularly in our mansion in the city, and where arranged marriages between families of the most prominent Muggles within our society were the norm. So it came as no surprise to me when my mother waltzed into my bedroom one evening and began telling me her plans for my wedding at the end of my seventh and final year at Hogwarts. Richard Constantine Rutherford IV; he was going to be my husband, the one person my mother expected me to spend the rest of my life with. He came from a long line of noted Muggles that laid claim to highly successful business endeavors in America and Japan. He was four years my elder, and highly qualified (according to my mother) to be my husband.

Needless to say, I wasn't very happy with her sudden announcement. I was always at odds with my parents with everything concerning my love life; I had been since I turned fourteen. They wanted to secure my future with a man I had never met, while I wanted the opportunity to fall in love. When I turned sixteen, my mother introduced me to Jonathan Bristrom, the son of a wealthy tycoon in Wales. He was short, ugly, snooty and very much a rich man's son. He was everything my mother wanted in a son in law, and everything I promised I wouldn't settle with. It was difficult growing up in the Evans household because although I had had a few boyfriends of my choosing over the years, none were ever approved of by my parents. I didn't care about the money so much, as long as they could love me and provide me with a comfortable life.

My sister Petunia made my parents proud the summer before my sixth year at Hogwarts when she married Vernon Dursley, the son of Graham and Veronica Dursley, Founders of Grunnings Drill Company. Vernon was not my mother's first choice for Petunia, but my sister was a special case. Mum was lucky she got rid of her at all. Everybody knew their marriage had been more out of necessity and convenience, but I didn't want to end up that way. I wanted to be able to choose who I was going to spend the rest of my life with, and I wanted to do it under my own free will. Unfortunately, I had been warned that if I didn't follow our family's tradition, they would disown me without delay.

Frankly, I was tired of it all. I wasn't foolish enough to want to give up the prosperous lifestyle I was living by coming at odds with my parents about it, yet I couldn't help but wonder what life would be like outside of the confines of high society where everything down to what knickers I was going to wear that day were arranged for me. I prided myself in the belief that I was better than the rest of my family because I could look past what people were wearing and what they were driving, but I didn't fool anybody else.

I looked forward to going back to Hogwarts because it gave me an opportunity to live with others that were far removed from what I was used to. I reveled in it, but it was distressing knowing that most of the students at Hogwarts thought me too arrogant to even treat me like a human being sometimes. It wasn't that I acted stuck up on purpose, because I thought I was above that. I only ever did it as I did everything else: because I was brought up a certain way. It happened most often when we returned from the summer holidays. All the girls in my dormitory got together before going to bed and told stories of summer holidays where they went to the beach or simply stayed in London for a few days. When it was my turn, I usually told them about trips to exotic islands I had visited with my parents, or the shopping sprees in Paris I was so fond of. They always looked at me like I was flaunting my life in front of them when in truth, I only ever wanted to fit in. Like I said, I never did it on purpose. Most of the time I didn't even know I was doing it at all, but my alienation of those whose income was significantly lower than my family's was what made me an outsider; I didn't have too many close friends. The girls I mostly associated myself with and called upon during meals and in between classes were from the same social class, therefore it was only fitting that we all huddled together to talk about how great it was to have so much money. I never really liked those girls and was mildly amused by them, but not too many people gave me the chance to prove I wasn't as shallow as they thought I was. Sure, there was a certain level of shallowness to my character, but it was by default. Although I was generally liked amongst certain circles and got along seemingly fine with most of my house mates, there was still a social barrier between us that I couldn't quite figure out how to cross. Blame my parents.

xoxoxoxoxo

The night before my trip back to Hogwarts couldn't have gone any worse. For years my mother had been trying to convince me to stop going to Hogwarts and enroll in a 'normal' school. It had been happening every year since my fourth when she thought the novelty of going to a magic school would have worn out, except that I wasn't expecting her to bring up my impending marriage.

"You don't need to go back to that school, dear. You need to stay here to plan your wedding," she said to me. My blood turned cold and I would've hexed her if she wasn't my mother.

"I never agreed to a wedding, mother," I replied through clenched teeth.

"Nonsense, it's all been arranged. We just need to go over the details with you. Eleven months isn't nearly enough time to plan everything adequately and we need you here."

I looked at her and she wasn't my mother anymore; she was a crazed woman. She would stop at nothing to get her way regardless of how it affected me and I was not going to stand for it. We stared at each other outside my bedroom door before I turned my back on her and slammed the door in her face. The last thing I saw that night was a sneer and it was enough to drive me over the edge. Not only was I going back to school, I was going rid myself of my rich girl reputation and I was _not_ going to marry sir "Rutherwank".

xoxoxoxoxo

The following morning, I made it a point to walk out of the mansion before sunrise. I was sure my mother was going to try and stop me, so I walked out of the house as silently as I possibly could, making sure Chloe, my owl, didn't make any noise. I ran across the street where I then apparated right outside of King's Cross and I prepared myself to wait several hours until the Hogwarts Express departed.

xoxoxoxoxo

When it finally came time to board the train for my seventh and final year at Hogwarts, I was pleasantly surprised to discover I would be sharing my duties as Head Girl with the new Head Boy, James Potter. We had never really spoken much in our six years at Hogwarts, and he was very much a mystery to me. He had good grades, he was very handsome, he was superb at Quidditch and from what I had witnessed, he had an amazing sense of humor. He also seemed like the type of person that lived life the way _he_ wanted to; a quality I deeply envied. We had only spoken a few times in our classes since we first met in our first year, and even spent some time together in fifth year when I courted his best friend Sirius Black for one week, but I never learned much about him in that time. He kept his personal life off limits to everyone outside of his circle of friends and it only served to hike up my interest in him; that one week I was with Sirius was a launch pad for my interest in everything James Potter. I wanted to know why there was so much secrecy surrounding him, but his friends weren't really helpful in that respect. Whenever I asked Sirius a question about his best friend, he simply shrugged and replied with, _Ask him about it_. I tried putting my interest in him into words, but it wasn't really something I could explain. He intrigued me, and with that came the type of fascination that would only be satisfied once I learned more about who he was. The fact that he was one of the best looking boys at Hogwarts didn't hurt, and the fact that he'd never so much as glanced in my direction before made it impossible for me to ignore him much longer.

It was natural then, when I met up with him in the prefect's compartment, that I would stare at him as if he was an experiment gone wrong. I didn't mean to stare at him that way. Like I said, I was brought up to scrutinize people's appearances; it was an art commonly known at Hogwarts as the Evans 360. When he caught me ogling at him, he smiled wolfishly at me before nudging Remus and whispering something to him before they both grinned back at me. It was a most embarrassing predicament, but it left me wondering. I made it a point to not look at him for the remainder of the prefect's meeting knowing I would get nothing out of him that day without making a fool out of myself, but I had the nagging feeling that he was sort of toying with me. Maybe I was daft, but I think I caught him staring in my direction a few times when I tried catching him off guard. For a person who had never really said a word to me in my life, he was acting kind of funny. I felt like I was thirteen again. I licked my lips a little bit and carefully fixed a strand of my hair behind my ears and surreptitiously looked up at him. He was very quick in his movements to turn the other way in time, but one thing was for sure; he was observing me. I let a smile form on my lips knowing that I had hit some sort of nerve with him, but I was unsure what to do about it. I didn't know what was going through his mind in that moment, so I went to great lengths to concentrate on the piece of parchment I was trying to read for the meeting. Was it possible? Could I even let myself believe that I saw in him what I think I did?

xoxoxoxoxoxo

We quickly settled into our duties as Heads and spent the remainder of the trip between patrolling the corridors and meeting up with our friends. Every so often, I ventured into the Marauder's compartment, the compartment occupied by James and his friends, under the pretense of wanting to speak to Sirius, or of wanting to get to know my colleague better. I attempted a conversation with them at every possible opportunity, but Sirius was the only one willing to oblige. We were nothing more than friends by that point, but by the way he acted around me, I couldn't help but wonder when he was going to grow out of his _Look at me!_ stage.

Each boy in that compartment was different, I noticed, and that made my interest in them reach its zenith. How could four completely different individuals become such close friends? Sirius Black was the rich kid who got everything he wanted, yet hated his pure-blooded family, while Remus was pretty well off by anyone's standards. He was a half-blood and came from a middle class family that lived in Cambridge. His mother was a popular auror within the wizarding community while his father was a Muggle businessman. Peter was the poor one. He came from a pure-blooded family right outside Bristol and was always complaining about his second hand books and second hand robes. His father died before he began his schooling at Hogwarts and his mother worked two jobs just to keep the family afloat. Although he was seemingly the oddball of the group, the other boys took him in as an equal. James, however, was still an enigma to me. No one knew much about his family except for the fact that his pure-blooded ancestry could be traced back to Spain, and that his parents died at the end of our sixth year of natural causes. He was best friends with the three other boys, but he didn't quite seem to fit into any of their classes. He didn't act rich like Sirius, he didn't act modest like Remus, and he didn't act self-conscious like Peter. He was simply James.

Whereas Sirius always wore perfectly tailored clothing, Remus wore well fitting trends, clothing that spoke volumes about who he was. He wasn't flashy with what he wore, and the modesty in which he carried himself in designer clothing from time to time made me really admire him. Peter of course never really liked talking about his belongings, yet I always took him for the type of person who would have boasted about his fortunes had he had any. I just simply couldn't place James in any one of those categories. When he wasn't wearing his robes or Quidditch uniform, he always sported fashionable clothing that rivaled something Sirius would wear, but without the show. I never saw him with an old shirt, or anything that didn't fit him correctly, yet he wasn't nearly as clean cut as Sirius or Remus. His messy black hair looked wind blown at all times and the way he wore his trousers well below his hips sometimes left you wondering if he was some sort of exhibitionist.

So that kept me thinking. Who was James Potter? What were his goals? What were his dreams? What was he like outside the castle walls? Why hadn't I ever heard anything about his family? It was quite natural for everyone at Hogwarts to know some history about everyone's family. Cliques were often formed that way, and it was a very important piece of information amongst the four Hogwarts houses. For example, everyone knows that I'm a Muggleborn. As such, that title automatically places me at the bottom of the social pyramid. Being rich however, negates those strict rules and puts me above all Muggleborns, placing me on the same platform as the half-bloods. Pile on my all around good looks and brains, and I am immediately catapulted to a notch above the half-bloods and right above pure bloods with no money to speak of; pure bloods just like Peter Pettigrew. I'm still no where near being accepted by all purebloods, particularly those from Slytherin house, but I never really cared for their level. Most purebloods don't entertain the same beliefs that Slytherins are so proud of, and those beneath my status make me feel every bit a Muggleborn every time they talk about me behind my back. So where did James Potter fit into everything? He's a pureblood, intelligent and a sportsman, so that placed him at the top of the pyramid, but what about his economic status? How much was James Potter worth, and was it enough of a difference compared to my fortunes to make my parents go absolutely insane if I fell for him?

xoxoxoxoxoxo

A/N: I hope you liked the first chapter! I'll hopefully be updating this story at least once a week. It's only going to be about 10 chapters long and it will only go through Lily and James getting married. Please review and let me know what you think?


	2. Meetings

Our first meeting as Head Boy and Head Girl was awkward. We were supposed to plan out the Hogsmeade trips for the term, yet we found ourselves staring down at our blank parchments, incapable of starting a single conversation. Every time I thought of something to say to him, the bored look on his face made me think twice before speaking. He didn't seem like the type of person who made small talk, and if I wanted to get to know him, I had to start off on the right foot. I looked around the prefect lounge and settled my gaze on a portrait of the school grounds. It was a rainy night in the portrait, but something caught my eye in the distance. A Quidditch match was taking place. I knew James loved Quidditch, but having never been interested in the sport before, I couldn't imagine starting a conversation with him about that. As he began tapping his quill on the table, my gaze settled on a ring he was wearing on his right hand. It was a coat of arms of sorts, but I couldn't make it out without blatantly staring at it. I was about to ask him what the emblem on the ring meant when he put the quill down, put his left hand over his right and finally looked up at me.

"So, Hogsmeade meetings," he deadpanned.

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

"We'll have one mid October, then we'll have one mid December so that everyone can do their Christmas shopping, and we'll plan the other trips next term," he explained as he began writing everything down. "Does that sound good to you?"

I stared at him like a fish out of water for about a minute before I got my bearings together.

"That sounds great, but why don't we plan three trips instead of just two?"

"NEWTS, Quidditch, marauding," he responded with a smirk.

"And you can't maraud in Hogsmeade?" I asked, playing along.

"Hogsmeade just doesn't hold the same mystique it used to. Marauding is so much more entertaining inside the castle walls," he shot back, while getting his belongings together.

I hurried to do the same as I shamelessly dropped my quills on the ground, hoping he would pick them up and extend our conversation. He did, and I took that opportunity to start asking questions.

"So how come you've never spoken to me in six years at Hogwarts?" I asked nonchalantly.

He looked at me for a moment then at my quills before shaking his head and shrugging.

"Hey, what is that supposed to mean? I really want to know," I countered, smiling at him.

"Do you really?" he asked. I nodded and he sighed before carefully replying.

"I've just always thought you were too up there, you know what I mean?" he responded, making a movement with his hand above his head.

I gave him a blank look that clearly said I did not know what he meant. He picked up my quills, handed them to me, and began making his way towards Gryffindor tower. It took me a moment before I realized he was getting away without properly explaining himself, and I hurried to keep up with him. I had to know what he meant.

"You're just…I don't know, high maintenance," he stated carefully before looking down at me. "I see you around the corridors all time and the way you look at people, the way you carry yourself, the way you acted around Sirius. You seem….stuck up," he finished after a bit of hesitation.

I stopped in my tracks, and he kept walking. Nobody had ever been that blunt with me before. Sure, I knew what certain people said about me, but they never actually said any of it to my face, especially those who had never even spoken to me before. Those who didn't wish to get to know me usually whispered it amongst themselves after I passed them in the corridors, or after I gave them the Evans 360. I had been trained to be judgmental and unrelenting in regards to social status and it was the one thing I tried changing at Hogwarts. Not surprisingly, it was also the one thing that I found too difficult to separate myself from.

"Oh," I breathed, feeling defeated.

He stopped walking and looked at me for a moment. I heard him curse under his breath before making his way back towards me. He stopped in front of me, and heaved a great sigh.

"Look, I didn't really mean that the way it came out," he started. "I was….I was just trying to be honest."

"That's okay," I answered softly.

"I'm sorry, Lily," he said, pacing in front of me. "I should have never used the words stuck up."

"That's how you feel, isn't it? But have you ever stopped to think that I can't help being that way? That no matter how much I try, some people simply won't ever give me a chance to prove to them that I'm not the stuck up rich girl they think I am?" I almost pleaded with him, forgetting that I was speaking to someone I didn't even know.

Why was I getting so emotional? My nostrils were flared, my eyes wide, and tears had gathered in my eyes just waiting for an opportunity to start cascading down my face. How mortifying! My first conversation with the one guy I was desperately trying to get to know, and not only had he insulted me, but I was pouring my heart out to him in the most humiliating fashion.

"I didn't mean to offend you," he soothed. "I thought you would have wanted me to tell you the truth," he offered, slouching down in front of me so that he could look at my face.

I was being ridiculous. I was talking to James Potter. James Potter! It was my golden opportunity to learn more about the elusive fourth marauder and I was ruining any headway I'd made by acting like a four year old that just got slapped on the wrist. Of course he was being honest. I never did much to make people believe I was anything but spoiled and stuck up.

"Argh! I cannot believe I just did that," I laughed, trying to hold back my tears and hide my face that was now the color of a ripe tomato. "It's just that nobody has ever said that to my face," I smiled sheepishly at him. "People talk behind my back or in whispers when I'm walking away from them, but I've never had anyone lay out for me the way you just did."

"I don't know you, so I shouldn't have said that. I really didn't mean for it to come out the way it did," he smiled.

"At least you were honest," I responded as I returned the smile and began walking again.

We spent the rest of our journey to Gryffindor Tower in amiable silence. I kept sneaking glances at him, hoping to read his expression, but he was impossible. His gaze was set directly in front of him and any attempt on my part to start a conversation ended with me sighing in frustration before we rounded the corner and stood in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady. When he spoke the password, he moved aside to let me go through the portrait hole first. I curtseyed, and he smiled down on me with such uninhibited delight that I thought I would never be able to walk again. I remained rooted to the spot and looked up into his sparkling hazel eyes for the first time and I knew there was something there I needed to learn more about. I smiled up at him in return, and made my way into the common room on wobbly legs. I made it a point to walk ever so slowly towards the girl's dormitories, not wanting to look back in case he was still watching me, but alas, I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. I turned my head in his direction just enough right before I stepped through the threshold, and was pleasantly surprised when I spotted him still standing by the portrait hole with a huge silly grin on his face.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Getting to know James Potter was no easy feat, and I was quickly discovering what it was like to be a stalker. I didn't make it blatantly obvious that I was following him around or observing his every move; I was simply in the right place at the right time when he passed by particular corridors. Call it a sixth sense, but James Potter was never very far away from me.

If people gave me strange looks before, it was nothing to what I was getting in those beginning weeks of my seventh year. In an attempt to appease to Mr. Potter's tastes, (tastes that I wholly made up since I didn't even know what his favorite class was), I tried my best to look like the average Hogwarts student. My robes were still new, and my mannerisms were still much more refined than the average person, but at least I wasn't trying too hard on my looks every morning. Whereas it would normally take me anywhere from one hour to two hours to get ready each morning before class, it was taking me half an hour to shower, get my hair done, and put minimal make-up on. I was a new person, but unfortunately everyone seemed to have noticed except James. I made vain attempts at socializing with students I wouldn't normally be caught dead patronizing with, and I even began to study out by the lake with everyone else in the evenings, something I would never had done as stuck-up Lily Evans.

So that's how I finally lost it in one of our bi-monthly Head meetings in the month of October. I was either going to get some information out of James Potter, or I was going to forget about him and go back to what was working for me before I gained interest in him. I walked into our meeting with a glint in my eye that I only ever got when I laid my eye on a particularly expensive pair of shoes. Like a professional shopper, I sized up the salesman, in that case James, and started small talk. Several sentences about Slytherins out after hours, and arrangements for the new prefect schedules were brought up until I went in for the kill.

I stood up, slowly walked around to his side of the table, swaying my hips from side to side in his line of vision, and sat down in a chair behind him. I then crossed my legs, making sure that my skirt went up a bit to show more of my thighs, and fixed a strand of my hair behind my ear. I waited patiently for him to turn around, and when he didn't, I wanted to slap the back of his head. Why was he being so difficult? No man was immune to a woman's hips when they swayed right in front of their eyes. I cleared my throat, in the most lady-like manner, and sighed dramatically. When he still didn't turn around, I gave up all pretenses of patience and called his name.

"James?" I asked in as steady as a tone as I could muster with my impatience.

"Yeah?" he asked, still writing something down on his parchment.

"Who are you going to Hogsmeade with this weekend?" I asked, mortified at what had come out of my mouth, instead of something more mature or insightful.

"Don't know yet, why do you ask?" he responded, finally turning around to look at me. He was surprised at first when he laid his eyes on me. He started at the top, taking in the way I had my hair up in a simple pony tail, his eyes then looking over my face, which was now practically make-up free, and continued his gaze down to the hem of my skirt. He visibly gulped when he looked down, and hurried to bring his eyes back up to meet mine. I had finally gotten some reaction out of James Potter. He made a move to loosen his tie, and when I smiled at him, he quickly looked down and shook his head.

"I ask because you haven't so much as spoken to me outside of these Head meetings all term and I want to get to know you," I explained, leaning forward so that my face was level with his.

"Get to know me? Why, there's nothing to tell," he responded, furrowing his brows and taking off his glasses to wipe them clean on his robe. I was distracted for a while by the way his eyes seemed to shine without the glare of his lenses, but was taken out of my reverie when he put them back on.

"Of course there's something to tell. Who is James Potter anyway? You have a life outside of Hogwarts, what are you really like?" I asked, hoping to get to know what few people at Hogwarts knew about him.

"Why the sudden interest? You've never told me anything about your life outside of Hogwarts," he countered, and I could hear a little bit of defensiveness behind his tone. So he didn't want to talk about his home life. Fine. There were other things I wanted to know.

"That's because everybody already knows everything there is to know about me," I started. "Everybody knows I'm Muggleborn, wealthy, at the top of every one of my classes, Head Girl, shite at flying a broom, stuck-up, and have only a handful friends to speak of. What else do you want to know?" I challenged him whilst giving him a radiant smile.

He looked at me like he didn't know what to think, but then smiled right back. I hadn't seen that type of smile since the first night at Hogwarts when I caught him looking at me walking up the stairs to the dormitories. He began to laugh then, and I immediately knew it was a good laugh. James Potter was finally opening up.

"Fine, you wanna know something about me?" he asked and I nodded. "I'm a Gryffindor, seventeen years old, my best friend is Sirius Black, my two other closest friends are Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, I'm also at the top of all my classes, I'm Head Boy, marauder extraordinaire, second only to Sirius in Hogwarts detention history, and Quidditch captain," he finished with a smile.

My smile quickly evaporated, only to be replaced by a glare that would have been perfect if not for the fact that I was on the verge of laughing. He was being smart with me, and I was not going to let him best me.

"You only told me one thing I didn't already know about you. What are you playing at?" I asked.

He laughed, before standing up and replying, "Hey, you're the one who said you didn't know anything about me."

"I know the obvious, now come out with the not so obvious," I laughed and stood up next to him. He smiled down at me and motioned for me to walk out the door in front of him.

"Tell you what, I'll meet you at the Three Broomsticks this Saturday, and I'll tell you all you need to know about me," he said.

I smiled and my face grew hot. Technically, I had asked him first, but I couldn't help getting giddy at the prospect of going on a date with James Potter. As we neared the portrait of the Fat Lady, I stopped and held his gaze for a few seconds before finally responding.

"I'll see you at two then. Good night, James," I said, and gave the password to the portrait.

I think I floated all the way up the stairs that night, and it wasn't because I was finally going to get to know James Potter, but because I really _wanted _to get to know him. There was something about his eyes that mesmerized me, and made me want to make him tell me all his secrets so that I could have just a little part of him. I was excited over my date with James Potter, but it was nothing compared to how it made me feel to turn around and catch him watching me walk up the stairs again with the same smile I saw before. The only difference that time was that his eyes held mine for a brief moment before the enchantment was broken, and he bounded up the stairs to the boy's dormitories.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Yay? Nay? Please review!


	3. Places

Walking back to my dormitory after a date with James Potter was everything and more than I ever imagined. He was intelligent, charming, witty, handsome, but he was also trouble. I was immediately drawn to him like a moth to a flame as he began opening up to me about the little things that made him tick. I found myself leaning forward, soaking in and dissecting every word he said, my hunger for that knowledge never satisfied.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Our date started off slowly. We met amidst the roaring crowd in the Three Broomsticks where he was already seated with his friends by the time I arrived. I wasn't expecting to have the other three around for our meeting, and it must have shown on my face because as I drew closer, he began telling his friends to leave us alone.

"Alright you lot, get out of here," he said, and while Remus and Peter obliged, Sirius felt the need to pry.

"No Prongs, I think I'd like to stay right here," Sirius sneered as he looked between James and me.

"Suit yourself, Padfoot," James responded before standing up and offering me his arm. It was a simple gesture, but one that I had trouble identifying with James. The ease and posture in which he held his arm out for me meant he was familiar with the courtesy, and didn't have to think twice before doing it. I linked my arm with his and he led me out of the Three Broomsticks, leaving Sirius gaping at us as he lounged in his chair.

We walked past several shops for a few minutes before we turned into a road I wasn't very familiar with. Looking around, I noticed that the establishments surrounding us were very small, and in desperate need of some repair. There was a second hand robe shop on one side of the road, a broom repair shop right next to it, and a used book store across the street from that. We passed several businesses that were similar in looks before James stopped abruptly and looked down at me.

"I hope you don't mind me bringing you here. You said you wanted to talk and Sirius was being a pain in the arse in the Three Broomsticks, so I figured we could go to a lesser known place," he explained, and when I looked up, we were standing in front of a little hole in the wall with nothing more than a door and a sign up top saying, "Gertrude's Kitchen."

When I didn't immediately answer him, he combed his hand through his hair and said, "We could go somewhere else if you want…"

"No, this is fine," I interrupted in a higher pitched voice than normal.

To be honest, I wasn't particularly looking forward to stepping into an eatery that looked like it belonged in Knockturn Alley. I could barely even tolerate going into the Leaky Cauldron to get into Diagon Alley without feeling as if I was carrying enough cobwebs to fill Hogwarts castle. I wasn't used to dark, grimy buildings and I certainly wasn't used to having a boy take me to such places.

I smiled uncertainly at him to let him know that I _was_ okay with going in there despite what I really felt about the place, and we walked in together. He held the door open for me, and it was so dark in there that at first glance, I really did think that we were walking into a hole in the wall. As my vision cleared however, I found myself in a cozy little restaurant with only four tables, and a small bar. A large witch with tatty brown robes and messy blonde hair waved to us from behind the bar and upon setting her eyes on James, she beamed and began making her way towards us. James meanwhile, held my elbow and began leading me forward, watching me closely to gauge my reaction.

"Jimmy, my dear boy, you haven't come to visit in ages," the woman gushed with a smile big enough to light up the small place.

"Oh come on, Gerty, you know it's not on purpose. I'm Head Boy now, remember?" James smiled sheepishly as the woman pulled him into a motherly hug.

"And who's this beauty you've dragged into a poor witch's humble kitchen?" she asked, focusing her attention on me.

I immediately saw the way her eyes examined me with careful scrutiny from the way my hair was perfectly in place in a pony tail, to the pristine condition my shoes were in. I felt like I was under a magnifying glass, and I wasn't sure she liked what she was seeing.

"I'm Lily Evans," I responded, holding my hand out for her to shake. James was surprised by my sudden willingness to come in contact with someone like Gertrude, but I think he was impressed nonetheless. The old woman then smiled at him before pulling me into a tight hug.

"Come child, you might as well be family if Jimmy likes you enough to bring you here," she said to me as I awkwardly patted her back. I wasn't used to that type of affection, especially from a complete stranger, but it made me feel comfortable. It made me feel like I was home.

James cleared his throat behind us, and when Gertrude finally let me go, I quickly took a step back and stood next to him. My cheeks were flushed and my hair was sticking out in odd places from the hug, but James only looked at me with a sparkle in his eyes. I had somehow passed some sort of test, and I knew he appreciated my comfort with the situation.

"What would you like to drink my dears?" she asked, walking back behind the counter.

"Butterbeers, if that's okay with you," he said and he looked down at me.

"Yes, that's fine," I responded, smiling at the way he was looking at me. Something had changed between the trip from the Three Broomsticks to Gertrude's Kitchen. He looked at me with what I only hoped was some sort of admiration, or respect. His movements were easy around me, like the way his arm gently grazed mine as he led me from place to place, or the way he smiled warmly at me.

When Gertrude arrived at our small table with our drinks, James ordered fish and chips for us to share and although I can't say I'm a fan of the meal, I could pretend I liked it just to keep that look in his eyes. We began by talking about classes and Hogwarts in general. I told him my favorite class was Charms, while he revealed that he was particularly fond of Transfiguration. He joked about Professor McGonagall's temper and mimicked Professor Flitwick's high pitched voice and inability to keep his classes in line when they got too rowdy. When asked why he liked Quidditch so much, he gaped at me like I was completely daft before taking a large swig of butterbeer and regaling me with the finer points of the sport.

"Are you kidding me? What is there not to like about Quidditch?" he said enthusiastically. "For starters, we get to fly on brooms. It's far better than having to run, don't you think? Then there are the four balls to contend with. The Quaffle is hard enough to handle without having to worry about the Bludgers coming at you from all directions, not to mention that everything's meaningless unless your seeker catches the Snitch before the opposing team does."

He continued in that manner for a few minutes while I took that opportunity to observe him. His eyes were shining again and his cheeks were flushed. He kept pushing his glasses up his nose and making all sorts of hand movements through the air. I knew James was an outgoing guy, but I never knew how passionate he was about the sport he played. I tried to think if there was anything that I was passionate about, but there was nothing. The only thing I ever did with much enthusiasm was spend money.

After explaining the finer points of fouling a Slytherin without getting caught, James seemed to have noticed that I was simply staring at him. He cleared his throat and asked, "So, do you play sports?"

I almost spat out my Butterbeer at that question, because I don't think I had ever given anyone the impression that I liked physical activities.

"No," I responded, still looking at him and wanting to laugh. "I watch the occasional cricket or polo match, but that's about the extent of my athleticism."

"You don't play _any_ sports?" he asked incredulously.

"I tried equestrian once, but I was rubbish at it. Princess Scarlet, my horse, kept throwing me off because I had absolutely no control over her. I was never any good at archery either; my aim leaves you wondering how I'm actually capable of walking in a straight line," I laughed. He stared at me like some creature from the deep end of the sea, when I blushed and finally had to look away.

He cleared his throat and tried one more time. "How about other muggle sports? Football, you ever play football?" he asked, leaning in closer to me over the table. He was intrigued by my total lack of experience in the sports world, and probably a little agitated at the fact that every sport I mentioned required no excessive exertion on my part.

"No, I've never tried football. One of my ex-boyfriends plays professionally now, but I never really liked the sport," I replied.

"How about Quidditch then?"

"I'm rubbish at flying," I replied, and for the first time all afternoon, I felt like there was a wall between us. What did James and I have in common anyway? He was clearly asking me questions about sports in an attempt to find something in common with me, but an alarm went off inside my head telling me to back off and not expect anything but a small friendship to come from our date.

I smiled meekly at him after responding, and he smiled back with a little shake of his head. He didn't look annoyed, only amused. Perhaps he understood that I wasn't that type of girl, or perhaps he didn't expect me to be; he was only curious to see how sheltered I really was.

"I bet you haven't really tried flying," he said as he drained the last of his butterbeer. "I bet I can get you to look pretty good out there if you let me teach you."

I looked at him for a moment and took in his child-like grin. He was so free, so optimistic, and I only paled in comparison with my pristine looks and knack for shying away from anything that made me sweat.

"You can't teach me to fly, trust me. The last time I mounted a broom the ruddy thing threw me off and I landed on my head," I told him trying not to blush, because I knew it sounded ridiculous.

His head tilted back in laughter and he took my hand in his on the middle of our small table. First I looked down to where he had placed my hand, in between both of his, and then I looked up to see him giving me a serious look that was on the brink of being comical.

"Lily, if I can teach Remus to fly, I can teach anyone," he commented, and then laughed at my puzzled look. "He couldn't even command the broom to hover in front of him when I met him and he's lived in the wizarding world his whole life! Once he got the nerve to just pick it up and climb on it for the first time, he fell off the back end," he chortled, finally letting go of my hand and wiping a tear from his eye.

I wasn't even paying attention to what he was saying to me anymore. I was too caught up with the way my hand felt after being held in his. James' hands weren't the smoothest I've ever come in contact with; they were big and covered in calluses, but they felt good to the touch. My hand lingered on the spot where he had been holding it before I realized he was standing up and dropping a few Galleons on the table. I immediately noticed that our meal hadn't been as expensive as all that, but looking at the way he hugged Gertrude before leading me out onto the rugged street in Hogsmeade, I knew it had become a habit to leave too much.

After leaving Gertrude's Kitchen, we made our way back towards the main square in Hogsmeade. It was getting late and many of the students had already made their return to the castle, but James gave me absolutely no indication that he wanted to go back. Instead of walking towards the front gates of the castle, we stopped by at the ice cream parlor where he bought me a vanilla single scoop with chocolate sauce on top. He ordered the same for himself, and we spent the remainder of our Hogsmeade trip in the small park leading towards the main road.

By that point, I had already told him all about my life in muggle London, but I hadn't heard much about his life outside of Hogwarts. He revealed that Sirius had lived with him and his family the summer before our sixth year, but he didn't go into any details. I knew Sirius had his own flat in London, therefore I could only assume that James did too. When I asked him what he would be doing for the holidays, he sighed, took a spoonful of my ice cream (since he had already finished his) and looked out into the distance.

"I'll either go back to my flat, or go to Sirius'," he said. "Sirius and I, well, we don't really have any family, so we stick together. Remus and Peter usually come around for a few days before going back to school, so we make the best out of it," he finished. I could tell he didn't really like to talk about it.

He mentioned that he and Sirius didn't have any family and that struck a chord with me. I knew Sirius had been disowned by his family and I knew James' parents had died, but I didn't know that his friends were all he had left.

"What are you doing during the holidays, attending a fancy ball of some sort?" he asked and he winked at me.

I blushed because that was _exactly_ what I would be doing, then I laughed nervously and said, "My parents host the bloody thing every year, and I'm always forced to dance with every pathetic rich boy that my mother forces upon me."

He looked at me in disbelief for a moment, and when I didn't say anything in return, he started laughing at me. It was a throaty laugh that had his arms flailing and after a couple of minutes of uncontrolled laughter at my expense, he wiped a tear from his eye. After watching him laugh at me for so long, I couldn't help joining in; I was so incredibly predictable. I giggled for a while, trying not to look at him before he stood up and offered his hand. I took it, and he soon intertwined his fingers with mine as we made our way back to the castle.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Please review!


	4. Beginnings

Getting to know James Potter was perhaps the most fun I had ever had. After our date in Hogsmeade, we began a sort of relationship, although we never officially gave it a title. We were friends, yes, but I it went beyond that. We weren't a couple either because we weren't really intimate, but we were getting there (or at least I hoped we were).

Group projects suddenly became opportunities to work closer to him and walking to class together had become a ritual. He carried my bag from class to class, while I linked my arm with his as we walked side by side. Meal times were open opportunities for me to get to know his friends a little better and walks around the grounds became common instead of our usual Head meetings in the prefect lounge.

Our status therefore, was in limbo.

He hadn't yet made a move to seduce me other than a kiss on the hand when we parted ways at night and I hadn't pushed him to reveal too much about himself. If it was one thing I learned about James was that he protected his emotions with everything he had and his friends were more than willing to help him. Peter, I noticed, protected James with a ferocity that was uncommon in a boy his age towards another boy. He wasn't James' right hand man because everyone knew Sirius and James were like peas in a pod but if there was ever any chance that James would get hurt, Peter was there to intercept the cause. He didn't like me too much and I can't say I liked him much either, but there was never any reason for him to suspect me, I hadn't yet gained his complete trust.

Perhaps the most pleasant and unexpected thing to come out of my time with James was that I also became close friends with Remus. I never realized just how much we had in common and I would have never thought that he was the one behind the cover-up to all those brilliant pranks the four friends pulled. Remus and I talked about art, poetry, music and were perfectly content to watch the other three boys when they were acting silly while we sat on the sidelines. Sirius Black, I noticed, had changed a lot since I dated him in fifth year and I appreciated the fact that he wasn't quite the arrogant rich boy I had come to know over the years. The same could be said for me, as I spent more time outdoors and began attending James' Quidditch practices whenever we had to meet for prefect meetings afterwards.

It was during one of our walks in late November on our way back to the castle from the Quidditch pitch that James truly opened himself up to me for the first time. It was the perfect time to talk since he was on a high from having spent the last two hours of his life doing what he liked best. He did most of the talking during that time and I listened with rapt attention.

He talked about his friends most of the time, and that's where my admiration of him began. He spoke of Sirius like the brother he never had and always wanted. He regaled me with intricate pranks the two had pulled over the years and explained how said pranks had become more sophisticated once Remus and Peter got involved. He told me about the many times Sirius had sneaked out of his house late at night to fly to James' house only to be hexed the following morning when his mother discovered where he had gone. James and Sirius had been best friends from the moment they met on the Hogwarts Express, and I needed only to hear the words he used to describe Sirius to know just how much that boy meant to him.

"He's a part of me, you know?" he said to me that day. "We don't even have to talk; we just know what the other is thinking. It's been that way for as long as I can remember," he explained and he smiled, taking my hand in his like we were so used to doing. "Sirius was the first person to be completely honest with me, and the only person that I have ever trusted with everything. I would trust him with my life and I know he would do the same with me.

"He has a real brother, but he doesn't even acknowledge him anymore. If someone asks him how his brother is doing, he usually tells them I'm doing just fine. A lot of wizards, especially the purebloods, don't understand how our friendship works. They think that because he's a Black and I'm a Potter that we're bound to be at each other's throats all the time, but it's never been the case. He never believed in what his family was preaching to him, so there was never anything to disagree on until last year. He pulled a prank that nearly tore us apart," he said, and he looked unsure as to whether he should continue or not.

"What happened?" I asked, eager to hear what came next, but afraid that he wouldn't want to tell me.

"It was a stupid prank that Sirius thought was brilliant at the time, but that could have got a Slytherin killed and Remus kicked out of school. I don't want to go into a lot of details, but that was the first time since I've known him that I saw that Black malice in him and it scared me. I just couldn't imagine how the Sirius I knew could do something so low. I didn't speak to him for over a week and I knew it was tearing him apart. Remus wasn't speaking to him either, and Peter was caught between the three of us. I punched him the night it happened," he said and he ran his free hand through his hair as if it hurt to remember what happened that night in their sixth year.

"I was already in the dorm reading on my bed when he walked in and started talking in loud tones to Peter about how some people, meaning me, didn't know how to take a joke. He said it with such bitterness that it angered me and I stood up to walk out. He stopped me half way to the door and put his face right up against mine in an attempt to intimidate me. I told him to shove off but he wouldn't back off. I threatened to hit him and he laughed in my face saying that I was being an arrogant fool and that I thought I was above him." He paused for a moment, the memory obviously still stinging.

"The mere fact that he said that angered me and I punched him with everything I had. He landed in front of me, his head almost hitting the door and then he got up and tackled me to the ground. We fought on the floor, throwing wild punches at each other for a few minutes before Remus ran in and pushed me off of Sirius. He grabbed me by the front of my robes and told me I was being an idiot. He told me it wasn't my fight and to stay out of it. Sirius spit blood at my shoes when Remus said that and I walked past both of them and locked myself up in one of the lavatories for the rest of the night."

He stopped talking when we reached the main entrance to the castle and we took a couple of steps before he started talking again. This was a James that I had never seen before. He was sober and sounded sad recalling the memories of his previous year at Hogwarts.

"Like I said, Sirius and I didn't talk for a full week, while Remus avoided Sirius altogether. I didn't think things would ever be the same again."

"But you worked it out though, didn't you? Otherwise you four wouldn't be speaking to each other right now?" I asked, curious to know what happened between the boys that seemed to have the unbreakable friendship.

He laughed and combed his hand through his hair again before responding. "It was Pete who made us patch it up," he said with a smile. "He went mad in our dorm at the end of that week and started yelling at us about how stupid we were being. He yelled at Sirius and told him he was an idiot to play a prank like that in the first place and then yelled at me for believing for a second that Sirius had done it on purpose. Then he rounded back on Sirius and told him that Remus would forgive him when he was ready to forgive him and to stop following him around like a wounded dog. A smile formed on my face when Pete said that, but it was wiped off when he turned to face me and said that I was being inconsiderate and was so upset about having saved a Slytherin that I was hurting my best friend by constantly reminding him about what he had done wrong.

"I had never seen Pete that mad in the six years I had known him. It was as if he had soaked in everything we had ever done and finally got tired of holding it in. Sirius and I would have patched things up eventually, but everything would have been very different if it hadn't been for Pete."

I was shocked that of the four marauders, Peter had been the one with enough guts to confront the two. I had him pegged as the passive one, always putting the other three on a pedestal.

"How did you react to him yelling at you like that?" I asked.

"We were shocked and didn't know how to react to it. After he lectured us, his face went white and he sort of ran out of the dorm. I guess he figured we would hit him because he had never spoken to us like that before," he laughed as we made our way up the stairs to the fifth floor where the prefect's lounge was located. "We still tease him about it. Any time we have an argument we stop in the middle of it and tell him we're afraid to get yelled at again."

I laughed out loud at that and by the time our laughter subsided, we were standing in front of our destination. I quickly let go of his hand when a couple of Hufflepuff prefects ran by us and into the lounge while he shifted uneasily beside me. When we walked in, the room immediately quieted down and before starting the meeting, I gave Remus a small smile. The dynamic between the four boys was finally starting to make sense to me.

James was giving out the new passwords for the dormitories and the prefect bathroom while I sat across from him in a daze. The conversation we had on our way to the meeting was still fresh in my mind and was confusing me. I wanted to know everything about James and deep down I had a feeling he wanted to tell me. James and I had created a bond that was quickly metamorphosing into something deeper. We were still strangers in a way, but the connection we had was so strong that neither of us could fully understand what was happening. I knew I had been attracted to him for some time, but I never thought he could pique my curiosity in such a way that he was never out of my mind. I sensed that he felt something for me too because of the way he studied me when he thought I wasn't looking. That smile I was so fond of was a permanent fixture of his features whenever we saw each other, and the way he held my hand when we walked together told me he was trying to get closer, but was still holding back.

I was brought out of my stupor by the rustling of chairs that signaled the end of the prefect meeting. James was speaking in low tones with Remus by the doorway, while I began to gather my belongings. I deliberately took my time, surreptitiously glancing up at the two boys for any indication of what they might be talking about and I immediately felt guilty about it. If James wanted me to know, he would tell me; I needed only to give him time.

"Hey Lily," he called out as Remus swiftly walked out of the prefect's lounge. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

He looked uncertain and so unlike the confident James I'd come to know and appreciate that it made the secret places inside my chest ache with something unknown. I could see that opening up to me was difficult for him and that he was beginning to worry whether or not he could tell me everything without the risk of getting hurt. That's what he and Remus must have been talking about and that's what had him looking out of sorts. I wanted to embrace him and tell him that what he had told me was more than I had ever hoped for. I just didn't know how to let him know how honored I was that he had let me into his impenetrable being.

"Sure James," I responded, an imitation of a sure smile upon my face.

He shifted his weight from side to side from where he stood across the room and bit at his fingernails. It was a side of him I was completely unfamiliar with. I was used to the proud Quidditch Captain with the steely face and the competent Head Boy that never doubted himself. The faltering James had never been introduced to me and it was beginning to make him all the more human in my eyes. He wasn't an enigma anymore. He was a private person who opened up to those that opened themselves to him instead of that walking, breathing mystery I first got to know at the beginning of the term.

"James?" I prodded.

His gaze shot up and in two giant steps he was standing before me.

"I…I just wanted to say…that is…um," he stuttered.

It was unnerving to watch him squirm in front of me like he was in a foreign land with a foreign person. I took his right hand in mine and when he looked at me with uncertain eyes, I gently placed my other hand on his cheek for comfort. He hesitated for a second before he cradled my head with his free hand and brought my face to his. Our lips crashed together and I forgot to breathe. I was shocked when it happened but as his lips moved against mine, I responded by deepening the kiss and throwing my arms around his neck. _This_ was the James Potter I wanted to know. _This_ was the reason I couldn't possibly let my parents tell me what to do.


	5. Approvals

A/N: I didn't say this before, but thank you to the few of you guys who have taken the time to read this, and the even fewer who have left comments. I hope you're enjoying my little fic. I actually wrote this about five years ago and it just sat on my laptop until I unearthed it a little while back. Brings back a lot of memories Anyway, on to the story!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kissing James Potter, I decided, was probably the most exhilarating feeling on earth. His smooth lips, his minty breath, his hands in my hair; I didn't want to be anywhere else. He stole my breath each time I felt his tongue raging a war with mine and it was simply magical. After several minutes of fighting over control, he was the first to finally pull away for air as he rested his forehead against mine. My eyes closed lazily, and one of my hands went up to caress his cheek. He then began massaging circles on that hand and let out an audible sigh.

"Did you feel it?" he asked, his voice hoarse and strained.

_Yes, I felt it_, I thought, but no words came out of my mouth, so I settled with a nod and I squeezed his hand with mine. Of course I'd felt it; _it_ was wonderful. _It_ was what I had been looking for but never thought I would find with him. How do you define something you've never felt before and can't possibly begin to understand? Kissing James wasn't like kissing the other boys I'd been with over the years. That kiss had been timid, urgent, practiced,it had been _right._ That one kiss had so much emotion attached to it that it might as well have had its own beating heart. It was the way a kiss was supposed to be and what enthralled me most about it was that it had been with James.

When I opened my eyes, they met intense dark hazel and furrowed eyebrows. Sensing apprehension on his part, I tentatively stood on the tips of my toes and placed a tender kiss on his forehead. That single endearment seemed to have assured him of something and his shoulders relaxed. He closed his eyes and for the first time in my life, I was falling.

We made it up to the seventh floor after an hour of walking and pausing for what felt like the first kiss every time our lips met. No words were spoken throughout our journey; we didn't need words to communicate what we were feeling for each other. When we reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, we paused and spoke for the first time since we left the prefect's lounge.

"Lily, I…" he started, but it was clear he had no clue what to say.

"James, I know," I soothed, and maybe I did know. I couldn't possibly comprehend exactly what was going through his mind but I knew that he didn't want to make a mess of things. As much as I wanted something big to come out of our encounter, he had become too close to me that if we mucked everything up, I could never forgive myself.

He nodded and smiled down at me, leaving another kiss on my swollen lips and we entered the common room. There were a few students sitting around the fireplace and a few talking with friends in dark corners as I began to walk towards the girl's dormitory. I turned around to give James one last kiss goodnight when Sirius materialized seemingly out of nowhere between the two of us.

"It's about time," he said, and he had that evil smirk on his face.

"What are you on about?" James asked, trying to hide the flush that was creeping up his neck.

"I've been waiting for you for the past hour. I believe that's when your prefect meeting ended?" he asked and wiggled his eyebrows at me. I rolled my eyes, and folded my arms across my chest.

"Why didn't you wait for me upstairs?" James asked, walking closer to Sirius.

"Because Pete's already waiting for us downstairs," Sirius replied, and turned around to look at me. He placed his hands on both sides of my head, kissed my forehead and said, "You behave yourself now."

I wanted to laugh at the serious expression on his face, but he quickly let go before he and James vanished before my eyes. I gasped, and looked around frantically to see if anyone else had seen them disappear. A hand appeared deceptively out of thin air, James' ring hand, and held on to mine.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning. And don't worry; we do this all the time."

And with that, the portrait hole opened and closed, leaving me shocked and a little confused.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

I woke up the following morning and it was as if the sun rose just for me. Absolutely nothing could go wrong for me that day, and the thought of meeting James in the common room made me feel like a thirteen year old girl with a crush. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I looked around the common room and immediately set my eyes on a head full of messy black hair. My smile disappeared however, when he turned in my direction because he looked exhausted and was sporting bags under his eyes that were not there the night before. His face lit up into a radiant smile and my worries instantly washed away; I fell in love with his smile every time. I crossed the room at a jog and threw my arms around his neck. He received me with a hard kiss on the mouth and immediately took my book bag from me.

As we walked out of the common room, I couldn't help grinning like an idiot. Not only was I holding hands with James Potter, I finally felt like I was a part of something. My six years at Hogwarts had brought me no friends I could share a sisterly bond with and the simple act of walking side by side with someone that now had a place in my heart was more than I could have asked for.

As we began making our way down the flights of stairs towards the Great Hall for breakfast, our hands were yanked away from each other, and Peter Pettigrew walked stride by stride between us. He fixed James with a smirk, then turned to me and glared. I was about to demand what his problem was when he began asking questions.

"So Lily, what are your intentions with our young James?" he asked, and a glint that I had never seen close up before, so much like the one Sirius sported before pulling a prank, appeared in his eyes.

I blinked at him, unable to comprehend what he was getting at and I heard James snort on the other side. Before I could form a coherent thought, he continued.

"What are your plans for the future? Where do you plan to work? Do you want to have little Potters running around the house?" he asked and by that point, James was beside himself with laughter. "I only ask because I want to make sure he's with a woman who can provide for him, you know, I don't want him settling with someone who can't take care of my boy," he said and I will never understand how he kept a straight face through his speech.

"_Our_ boy, Pete. He's our boy and I fully agree, Evans," Sirius said, walking beside me. "How many babies are you willing to provide, and will you name the first one after me?"

By that point, James looked like he was ready to wet himself, his face was so red. I struggled to come up with something witty or funny in reply and by the look on Peter and Sirius' faces, they had succeeded in what they set out to do. After opening and closing my mouth like a fish out of water, James finally came to my rescue and pulled me out in front of them.

"We'll see you lot later, we have school business to discuss," he announced before leading me towards a different corridor. I faintly heard Peter and Sirius bursting out in loud laughter, but I was too bewildered by what had just happened to ask any questions.

We walked for several minutes before James led me inside an empty classroom on the second floor. He looked at me with amusement until I finally snapped out of it.

"What was that about?" I asked a bit shrilly. "Are your friends high or are they normally that meddlesome?"

His smile broadened and he held his hand up to my lips.

"They like you," he simply stated.

My brows furrowed and I opened up my mouth to ask another question, but nothing came out. What started out as the most perfect day was turning out to be the most baffling day of my life.

"They've never done that with any of my other girlfriends. It means they like you," he answered my look of disbelief and brought me closer to him.

I felt his hot breath on my cheek and began to wonder how we had gotten to that point so quickly. By that time the previous day, we had only been close friends, yet we were acting like a couple in love less than twenty four hours after that.

By the time I was able to disengage my mouth from his long enough to check the time, we realized we were late for Charms. We had forgotten all about breakfast the moment we walked into the empty classroom and the only reason we didn't get points taken off for our tardiness was because we were Head Boy and Girl.

As I walked into the classroom, I did my best to avoid eye contact with Sirius and Peter and I noticed that Remus wasn't in class. It was common knowledge that Remus got sick often and at that moment, I was grateful he wasn't there because otherwise I would have had to avoid his taunts as well.

I tried my best to concentrate on Professor Flitwick's lecture, but something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head slowly and my gaze was met with two biscuits floating in mid-air. I immediately grabbed them so that they wouldn't attract any unwanted attention and turned to my left to look at James. He was balancing his chair on its hind legs and chewing on a biscuit just like the ones I held in my hand. He winked at me and I followed his gaze to his right. Sirius sat there, seemingly paying attention to the lecture, when he looked at me and gave me two thumbs up. Knowing that James and I would never make it to breakfast earlier that morning, he had made sure we had at least something to hold us over until lunch time.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

As the Christmas holidays approached, I was still amazed at how little I really knew about James. Despite the traits I got to know over the course of three and a half months, he always found a way to surprise me. Just when I thought I would get nothing more about him, he hit me with another piece of personal information he had never shared with anyone but his closest friends.

"My parents had me when they were older," he started one evening. "It may sound strange to you because Muggles have babies when they're younger, but Mum had me when she was eighty six," he explained, and my jaw dropped when he said it. "Dad was ninety eight at the time and they had given up all hope of ever having a child. When I was born, Mum dubbed me the 'miracle baby' and I was spoiled rotten. It was always just the three of us. Dad worked in the Department of Mysteries and caught a strange magical virus that the healers didn't know how to cure. The three of us were so close that when he died last year, Mum went into a depression so deep that she followed a week later." He stopped, and I waited patiently for him to continue.

"I sold our house soon after their funeral because I couldn't live there by myself. That house was full of so many fond memories that I think it was best to let it go rather than to dwell on them until I got older. They would have wanted me to move on quickly, but the truth is that walking into that house right after they died simply paralyzed me. Sirius was in bad shape too, considering they had always treated him like a son, and he agreed that it was best to sell it.

"I ended up buying a flat in London with the money from the house. I'm doing fine, I suppose, nothing I can't handle." He paused then, and I could tell he didn't want to keep on talking about his parents.

I patted his hand and put my head on his shoulder. My problems were nothing compared to what he was going through. James had been through the death of his loving parents, while I had been complaining about an arranged marriage that, in my mind, would never take place. At that moment I closed my eyes and imagined my life without James. An emptiness filled my heart at the thought, and I asked myself: how did I ever live without James Potter?

xoxoxoxoxoxo

When we arrived at platform 9¾, I didn't feel compelled to cross the barrier, so I took that opportunity to say goodbye to Remus, Sirius and Peter. We had spent a raucous time in a compartment at the end of the train and we were all still flushed and giddy about it. When I hugged and gave Remus a goodbye kiss on his cheek, James pulled me away, claiming Remus was trying to seduce me and we walked towards King's Cross together.

Stumbling out of the barrier between platforms 9 and 10, I didn't immediately see Robert, our driver. I suspected he got held up in traffic, so I walked into the station hand in hand with James. We situated ourselves near the exit and were kissing goodbye when I spotted a familiar head of red hair behind him. When I pulled away from him, I saw my mother standing behind Robert, and she didn't look very amused.

"Sorry, I have to go," I mumbled to James before walking briskly towards my mother.

I saw him turn around and look at me with sad eyes before walking away without saying a word. My mother then took me firmly by the elbow and began to pull me out of the station. I half heartedly struggled against her roughness and soon Robert had the door of our car open for us. When I climbed in behind my mother, she lectured me like she had so many times before.

"Who was that boy that had his hands all over you?" she demanded in her shrill voice.

I sighed in defeat, and chose to tell her the truth.

"He's my boyfriend, mother, and he had his hands all over me because I had my hands all over him," I responded with an icy tone.

She gasped, and fanned herself with her handkerchief as if I had said something outrageously scandalous.

"How dare you speak to me that way? You are engaged! I will not have my daughter gallivanting around with some common teenager that is only after her money. The only reason you are still in that school is because your father lets you. I thought it would be a welcome change to let you study there for a few years until the novelty wore off and then you would see that attending that school was a big mistake," she ranted. "I knew we should have pulled you out of there once you were made prefect a few years back. They _lured_ you into remaining in that school and made it difficult for you to refuse them, but I will not allow you to continue with this absurdity!"

I was furious by that point. How dare she speak to me that way? How dare she demean Hogwarts like that? Hogwarts was the best thing that could have happened to me and I was not going to keep quiet about it any longer.

"Hogwarts has absolutely nothing to do with the decisions I make, mother. I like James, and for your information, _I_ went after _him_. He knew I was rich, and he didn't even care," I responded furiously.

"That's what he wants you to think. He'll have you at his beck and call soon enough if I allow you to keep this fling going. I will not have my daughter associating herself with a worthless boy the likes of him. I just won't have it."

I was fuming, and in an attempt to keep myself from saying something I would deeply regret later, I didn't respond to her foul comments. It was one thing to patronize me, but she was crossing a line when she began to patronize James.

After a few minutes of riding in silence, I spoke first.

"Why did you come to pick me up anyway? I didn't think King's Cross was on your list of fashionable places to be spotted," I said through clenched teeth.

She looked at me hard for a moment before pursing her lips and responding, "We are going to have your dress fitted for Saturday evening. You will make an appearance at the ball and you will act like an Evans should," she responded, a threatening tone taking over her voice.

"I don't want to go to the bloody ball. How many times do I have to tell you that?" I demanded.

"You are going, and that's final," my mother said, and I was so tired of bickering with her that I let the argument stand.

She could make me go, but she couldn't make me enjoy myself without James.


	6. Reactions

A/N: Again, a big thank you to those of you who have taken the time to read and review. I really appreciate it. There aren't that many chapters left in the story; I just have to write a suitable ending for this since I never got to the end when I started it 5 years ago. It's been fun revisiting this little story though, and I hope you all have enjoyed it so far :D

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Two days after arriving in London, I received an owl from James. He wrote to say that he missed me and that Sirius would be spending Christmas at his flat. He also mentioned that he wanted to meet up with me before returning to Hogwarts, and that immediately made my day. I didn't argue with my mother at all that morning, because the thought of feeling James' arms around me made everyone tolerable for as long as I remembered his words.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I spent the rest of my afternoon locked up in my bedroom with three other women I didn't even know. They were pinning my hair up, putting mountains of make-up on my face and reaching under my bathrobe to apply all sorts of scented moisturizers. My ball gown was a gold monstrosity that revealed more cleavage than I was comfortable with, but I set aside my reservations, knowing I would be racing toward my bedroom the moment the party got underway.

I looked at myself in the mirror before walking downstairs to the dinner my parents hosted before the dance, and I honestly didn't recognize the person staring back at me. I had changed so much in four months that dressing up for a party simply wasn't as satisfying as it once was. I realized I no longer needed an event of that grandeur to solidify my place in society, and frankly, I didn't want it anymore. There were far more important things happening outside the mansion walls, things in the wizarding world that would make the bravest Muggle squirm, that attending a ball was the absolute last thing I was concerned with.

As I waited at the top of the stairs to be introduced, I noticed my sister Petunia and her husband Vernon standing at the other side of the corridor. I hadn't spoken to Petunia since my sixth year at Hogwarts, and her reluctance to associate herself with me only intensified after Vernon found out I was a witch.

My father had insisted that Petunia tell Vernon my secret because he would be a part of the family and needed to know. Petunia refused, but finally agreed one week before their wedding. When she told him, he almost called off the ceremony. After much crying, cursing and name calling, my father was able to bring Vernon to his senses. No doubt he promised him a share in his business.

As the Dursley's names were called, my mother came up behind me and whispered frantically in my ear.

"Richard is here, Lily, and I don't want to hear one complaint from you," she ordered, and I gave her a puzzled look.

What did I care that a Richard was there. There were at least ten Richards at the party, was that supposed to mean something to me?

As I descended from the view I had at the top, I was well aware that all eyes were on me. I walked down to the foot of the stairs as quickly as possible where I was met by a tall, dark and sour looking gentleman that was at least five years my elder. He held out his arm, and I reluctantly took it under my mother's careful scrutiny. He led me past several guests and into the dining room where I was to be seated between him and my brother in law.

Finger bowls, caviar, soup, venison, champagne and other oddities were placed in front of us as I numbly sat listening to irritating stories from my appointed companion. He regaled me with details of successful business deals in Japan and mundane information about traveling in America that I wouldn't put anyone, not even my worst enemy, through. He spoke to me as if I _enjoyed_ his company, when in fact I was dying to get away. The only thing that kept me going through the dinner was the knowledge that I would be meeting up with James in Diagon Alley on Boxing Day.

As I finished poking at my dessert, the man sitting next to me stood up and held up a glass of champagne. The room immediately went quiet, and he proceeded with the air of someone who had just conquered a small country.

"Good evening, esteemed guests. First I want to thank our admirable hosts for bringing together such an illustrious fete this evening." There was applause and much nodding and smiling on my parent's parts. I didn't see where the speech was going, but I got the odd feeling that all eyes were on me again.

"It is an honor to stand before you in what I hope is the first of many more intimate dinners to come. As you all may be aware of, there comes a time when a young man, particularly a man of my stature, to set aside the onerous responsibilities of the business world and settle down to start a family. I come here tonight to delay those duties with the intent to make generations of Rutherfords proud and to continue with as much success as my ancestors."

As he ended that sentence, an alarm went off in my head. Richard. Rutherford. The man standing next to me was the one person my mother expected me to marry, and he was making an engagement speech. The world froze before my eyes and all I kept thinking about was the look on James' face when I told him I was engaged to another man. I wanted to stand up and shout to everyone that I didn't want to marry Richard, but my legs were rooted to the spot. I wanted everyone to know that I was falling in love, and that I didn't care if James wasn't as rich as Richard, but my brain was incapable of processing any thoughts. What finally took me out of my reverie was the enormous diamond that was thrust in front of my face.

I stared at the rock in front of me in numb silence as the people around me waited with bated breath. As the ramifications of what that ring meant finally hit me, I stood up, knocking down my champagne glass, and rounded on my parents. They were looking at me expectantly, and by the look on my mother's face, I could tell she was mortified by my silence. As she made a face, pointing towards Richard's outstretched arm, I slapped the ring out of his hand in one swift motion. The room gasped collectively and my mother stood up in anger.

"How dare you make me come to this dinner without telling me you were planning this!" I roared. "I told you I wasn't going to play into your stupid little marriage game yet you refuse to believe even for a second that I can make a decision on my own! I won't marry him!" I cried out, and pointed a finger at Richard.

He was understandably stunned, and so were the other guests. My hair was in disarray and tears were running down my face as my mother stood up as fast as I had ever seen anyone move and roughly pulled me from the dining room. She led me into the downstairs parlor where she faced me with a look clearly inherited from Satan himself.

"You have embarrassed me for the last time!" she screamed the moment we were safely inside the parlor. "I am tired of your shenanigans and of your claims of constant slavery under this house. If we did not believe you could make a decision for yourself, you would have been pulled out of that wretched place you call school years ago, but we thought it was in our best interests to keep you happy. We were obviously wrong about a lot of things. If we say you will marry Richard, then you will. If you still have any objections, then you are _not_ my daughter," she finished with frightening calm.

As the implications of what she threatened me with hit home, tears still lingering in my eyes cascaded down my face with such force that I could no longer see her standing in front of me. I never thought my own mother would disown me for such a petty thing, but she was right, we were all wrong about a lot of things. If she would rather see me unhappy and married to a man I didn't love than to see me happily wed with a man of my choosing, then _she_ was not my mother.

I wiped the tears from my eyes in a dignified manner, turned around, and slowly walked up the stairs toward my bedroom. I no longer had a family.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I haphazardly packed my belongings, shrinking most of it, and dragged my trunk, my enlarged school bag and Chloe's cage proudly out the front door. Walking slowly across the street, I pulled out my wand and Apparated into the Leaky Cauldron since I had nowhere else to go.

I walked up to the innkeeper and requested a room for the night. I didn't usually carry wizard's money with me, but I was glad I had some left over from my last trip to Hogsmeade. I was led up to room number 13 where the innkeeper helped me with my belongings. As he closed the door behind him, I couldn't help feeling ashamed of what happened at home. I never meant to treat my mother that way, but she left me with no alternative. I threw myself on top of the moldy sheets on the rickety bed in the middle of the room and eventually cried myself to sleep.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I woke up the following morning with the weight of the world on my shoulders. After looking out my window, I realized with pitiful heartache that it was Christmas morning. It was the first time in my life that I wouldn't be spending Christmas with my family. I tore myself away from the window and began rummaging through my school bag for quill and parchment. I wrote a note to James, telling him where I was and vaguely explaining my situation, then sent Chloe out to deliver it.

Twenty minutes later, I emerged from my bath to the sound of pounding at my door. When I opened it, I was greeted by a disheveled James Potter, and he was holding my note in his hand.

"What happened?" he demanded as he pulled me into a bone crushing embrace.

Feeling his arms around me and having him sound worried, tore at my heart and I broke down into loud sobs again. I tried to tell him what happened, but I was crying so hard that I couldn't get two words out. He kissed my forehead and sat down with me on the bed before he began to rummage through my bag for whatever I would be needing that day.

"Wha-what are you doing?" I asked and he held my hand, grabbing my cloak and putting it over my shoulders.

"You're celebrating Christmas with Sirius and me. Come on, let's go."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

James, Sirius and I ended up spending our morning and most of our afternoon in the kitchen. Sirius was hoping to have a smoked turkey while James and I were in charge of dessert. James was the only one in that flat with minimal experience in the kitchen, but it wasn't enough to salvage our cookies or to rescue the doomed poultry. By that evening, we were sitting in the living area, listening to the wireless, drinking Butterbeer with Firewhiskey, eating take-out Chinese food and enjoying each other's company.

"So I stood up," I explained, "and the stupid git was still standing there, holding that giant ring. I thought my mother's eyeballs would bulge out by the way she was staring at me!"

"Let me guess, she was motioning from you to him like this," Sirius said, and he did an exact imitation of my mother.

I spit out my spiked Butterbeer and laughed so hard my stomach ached. As I continued to tell the two boys all about my escape from Evans Manor, Sirius laughed and imitated my mother while James sat at the other end of the room, quietly observing me. We continued in that manner until Sirius grew tired and promptly fell asleep on the couch. My head was whirling and I was mildly aware of the way I was slurring my words when James stood up and announced that he was taking me back to the Leaky Cauldron.

Minutes later, I found myself spinning in a rush of emerald green flames on my way out of James' flat. When I landed with a loud thud inside the Inn, James helped me get back on my feet. As we walked up the stairs and into my room, James held me tightly by the waist, making sure I wouldn't fall over in my drunken state. When he laid me down on the bed, he kissed me on my cheek and began saying goodnight. I held his wrist tightly in my hand to stop him from going anywhere.

"Stay with me a while," I said in a hoarse whisper.

"You should go to sleep, Lily. You've had a lot to drink tonight," he soothed.

"Please?" I asked.

I heard him sigh and then I felt him getting the duvet from under me to cover my body with it. Once that was done, I felt his weight fall on the other side, on top of the coverlet.

"Only for a minute," he replied and he began to stroke my hair with his hand.

After a few minutes of silence, I spoke.

"You wanna know the real reason I walked out of that house?" I asked, my words slurring. He didn't answer, but I took it as a sign to continue. "It was the way she spoke to me. She…they have been telling me what to do my whole life. I was tired of being their little puppet. I was tired of not having a choice when it counts," I explained, my voice getting clearer and clearer as I spoke.

"You wanna know what else?" I asked, but I knew he was listening, waiting for me to put everything out in the open. "It was the way she spoke about you."

He stopped stroking my hair, and I heard him take in a deep breath.

"I hated the way she looked at you in the railway station and I hated myself for not standing up to her when it happened," I mumbled, and I could feel sleep trying to overtake me.

"Why's that?" he asked in a whisper.

I hesitated before answering, "Because you're a much better person than everyone I know put together. Because you don't look at anyone's social status and judge them based on that. Because you treat everyone as your equal. Because you protect people like Peter."

My words hung in the air for a while before he shifted his body and held my hand tightly in his.

"I'm glad you're not like your mum," he replied.

"So am I," I confessed, and as sleep finally overtook me, a smile formed on my face. The last thing I saw that night was my hand clasped tightly in his.


	7. Declarations

I awoke the following morning with a slight headache, but with the sort of contentment I wasn't even aware I was capable of feeling. A sizable weight had been lifted off my shoulders and despite the pounding in my head and the fact that I was lying in a strange bed, I felt it in the depths of my heart that I was finally starting the life I was destined to lead. My first Christmas as the Evans family outcast was everything I always expected, but never quite got to experience before. The conviviality at James' flat the previous night was not manufactured out of the need to impress anyone; if anything, our actions proved just how comfortable James, Sirius and I had grown around each other. It was the first time I had ever let myself go, drinking with wild abandon, eating food out of a cardboard box on the floor in the living room and generally making a fool of myself in my drunken state.

Simply put, I was happy. Instead of refusing hors d'oeuvres and expensive champagne offered by numerous wait staff, I ate greasy noodles that were washed down with spiked Butterbeer. I also didn't have to check that my hair and make-up were in order every few minutes; instead I distinctly remember Sirius starting a small food fight and having to remove chunks of onion out of my hair minutes later.

It was the first time that Sirius and I had laughed at each other's jokes instead of arguing, while James proved to be subdued throughout the night. His quietness escaped me at the time; I was having so much fun, but upon looking back, I could see hints of apprehension on his part. He was studying me as I drank and talked freely to Sirius about my family and the way I escaped them, yet said nothing about my total change of attitude from the time he picked me up at the Inn.

When I heard a soft snore behind me, my body stiffened as I tried to remember exactly how I got back to room number 13. Flashes of James holding me close as he helped me up the stairs after flooing into the Leaky Cauldron invaded my memory and a surge of euphoria flowed through my veins. I remembered the conversation we had before I fell asleep and I remembered the way he clasped my hand when I told him exactly the type of person I thought he was. Knowing that he had been within my reach as I slept caused my cheeks to blush in embarrassment, but I knew James would never try to take advantage of me.

Turning around slowly as to not disturb him, I found him lying on his back on top of the duvet, one hand placed behind his head, glasses firmly held, the other on his abdomen. He still has his trainers on and I wondered then if he meant to stay all night or if he had simply fallen asleep, waiting for me to doze off before returning to his flat. I smiled at his position because I knew he was setting a boundary between us so that I wouldn't feel uncomfortable with his presence on my bed.

As I got up, James' eyes popped open and he immediately fumbled to put his glasses on. When he finally looked at me, his face lit up with a bright smile and he relaxed. I slowly made my away around the other side of the bed where I kneeled down and kissed him.

"Good morning," I whispered, my voice hoarse.

"Morning," he replied, reaching out for his wand and performing a breath refreshing charm on himself before bringing me in for another kiss.

"I think I need one of those too," I sheepishly laughed, trying to cover my own mouth.

"I don't care," he replied, kissing my lips, then my nose and my cheeks.

If that was what it would be like to wake up next to James Potter every morning, I never wanted to wake up alone again. Knowing that he was there, beside me, after all that I had gone through in the last two days filled my heart with an appreciation I was not soon to forget. We kissed in silence for a few minutes before he drew away and buried his face in my hair.

"I have to go home," he mumbled. "Sirius is probably just waiting to make fun at me for spending the night here with you."

I blushed as he said this, but let out a soft laugh.

"Do you have any plans for today?" I asked, placing my hand behind his head to keep him there.

"We have plans together, remember?" he responded and picked his head up to look at me. "You get ready while I go to my flat and I'll meet you downstairs."

"Alright," I responded, getting up off the floor. "I'll meet you downstairs in an hour."

He stood up, mussed up his hair a bit more, and kissed my hand.

"I'll see you in a bit," he said as he slowly walked out of my room.

I put an ear to the door as I heard him pounding down the stairs, and I instantly felt an emptiness in my heart. Hot, searing tears came to my eyes as the realization hit me that I was completely on my own and that nobody but James had gone looking for me the day before.

I let my body slide down the length of the door, landing with a soft thud on the ground. The tears were flowing freely, but it wasn't anger I was feeling. It was something much deeper that had nothing to do with my parents and their total lack of interest about my whereabouts. I recognized the fact that my parents let me walk out the front door without a fight and that James had gone rushing to me immediately after receiving my note. They could have contacted Dumbledore; parents of Muggleborn students were always equipped with the means to contact the Headmaster if they ever needed to, but they didn't even do that. The only person who cared about where I was hadn't thought twice about going up to my room, comforting me and getting my belongings together so that I wouldn't have to spend Christmas alone.

No, they weren't angry tears; they were tears of comfort and an overwhelming myriad of emotions that had everything to do with what I felt for James. My feelings towards him had gone from quiet admiration at the beginning of the year, to strong affection in our new relationship and had finally matured into deep love.

I was sure then that I was destined to be with him and him with me. No other person had made me see the world the way he did; no other person ever took the time with a selfish rich girl. As I wiped away the remaining tears from my face, I was determined to let him know exactly what I felt for him.

xoxoxoxoxoxox

An hour later, I walked downstairs and met with James, who was having an animated discussion with the bartender. As I snaked my arms around his waist, he quickly said his good-byes to the other man and we made our way towards the portal into Diagon Alley.

The cobbled street was bustling with people that day. Families of witches and wizards walked in and out of shops, laden with bags; the sales that were now a big part of Boxing Day were in full swing in Diagon Alley. Flashy banners and noisy advertisements signaled a price that couldn't be beat while mothers and daughters could be seen dragging their male counterparts into the fray of the big sales. The experience of shopping along a crowded street on Boxing Day was very new to me; I was accustomed to spending long afternoons going to the races and making small talk with a variety of people of high social standing. As I stood in numb silence at the archway, James and I were taken in by the crowds walking along the street to their next destination. Noticing my initial surprise, James managed to veer towards a side street with noticeably less foot traffic and with that, we were on our way.

Our fist stop was Gambol & Japes Wizarding Joke Shop, where James stocked up amidst the greedy hands of the younger witches and wizards on items he and Sirius had run out of since our last trip to Hogsmeade. Recognizing some of the items James was purchasing, one small child even went as far as to ask James if he could give him a solitary novelty if he spared one. With a grin, James began to pull the delinquent item from the bag the sales person had just given him when the child's mother came from behind and fixed James with a deadly glare that sent him scurrying towards me. I hit him playfully on the arm before leading him out of the store, the child looking forlornly at our retreating forms.

Upon my request, we then made our way to Scribbulus Everchanging Inks, followed by Flourish & Blotts Bookstore where I purchased a few books I heard some of the girls in my dormitory talking about one day. James managed to remove one of the books from my grasp and had me blushing profusely when he proceeded to read the juiciest part of the novel aloud for the entire shop to hear. I then hastily tried to pay for my items but was shooed away from the cashier by James, who insisted on paying for everything. As I was about to protest, he opened another book and threatened to start reading aloud again if I had any further objections. I closed my mouth mid-argument and quietly made my way towards the exit, an embarrassed smile forming on my lips.

When we stopped at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor for a mid-afternoon snack, James and I finally had time to talk.

"So where do you want to go next?" he asked between mouthfuls of the tasty looking chocolate concoction sitting before him.

"Madam Malkin's. I haven't bought new robes in ages," I responded, knowing the reaction I would get from him.

Sure enough, his eyes widened and I could tell he was stifling a groan of disapproval. If it was one thing I had learned about men and loved to tease them with was that they absolutely hated shopping for clothing with a girl who had three walk-in closets at home.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "Because it's probably going to be brimming with people and I know you don't like walking around a big crowd. Besides, they have huge sales going on, which means that they're trying to get rid of everything that wouldn't sell on a normal day. And…" he continued in a fast pace before I cut him off.

"Relax, James," I laughed. "I was only trying to get a reaction out of you."

He glared at me for a moment before stealing a rather large spoonful of my sundae and stuffing it in his mouth with gusto. I stuck my tongue out at him in turn and tried to do the same, but he quickly removed his plate from the table. I rolled my eyes at him and after staring at each other with what could only be described as undeniable appreciation for one another, I sighed and finally looked away.

"I was thinking of getting a small flat around Diagon Alley," I said, and his expression became serious. "I have enough money in my personal account to last me through the middle of the summer. By then I hope to have a job so that I can continue paying for all the necessities."

He fidgeted across the table but didn't say anything, so I continued.

"I also want to go into the Healer program at St. Mungo's, so that means I'll have to take an evening job," I said thoughtfully and I realized it was the first time I had voiced my interest in obtaining a job after Hogwarts to anyone.

"You want to be a Healer?" he asked, clearly surprised.

"Yes, I do. I love Potions and Herbology and I just know I'll be good at it," I said with a wistful smile. "What are you doing after you've finished terrorizing Hogwarts?" I asked.

"I want to be an Auror, of course," he answered and I noticed the way he puffed out his chest.

"What made you decide on that?"

"The war. I feel so useless within the castle walls. The _Daily Prophet_ is constantly reminding me that there is something big going on out there and that I can't do a thing about it because I'm in school."

I thought about his reply and pride spread through my body like a forest fire.

"Why do you want to be a Healer?" he asked after a long silence.

"I want to help people that can't help themselves in times like these," I answered without hesitation. "I can only imagine the horrors people go through when they're in the midst of war and I want to do anything I can to help those who survive it."

It was the first time that James and I had expressed our feelings about the war to each other and I could see he was surprised to hear how passionate I was about the cause. Not one person was safe from the war and as a Muggleborn, I knew that not everyone was in a position to help themselves, especially Muggles. I wasn't strong enough to be an Auror and help stop the Death Eaters directly, but if I could heal someone that was hurt by their evil wands, then I had succeeded in defying them too.

After another long silence, James began looking at me with what I hoped was admiration. The look in his eyes made me believe I could do anything I set my mind to.

"And to think that I once thought you were a selfish person," he commented in a soft voice. I smiled gratefully at him as he continued. "When your mum saw us at King's Cross the other day, I almost believed that you hadn't really changed by the way you ran past me without an explanation. I thought that you might have been ashamed of me or that you didn't really care about me. I now know it was wrong of me to think that."

I blush crept up the back of my neck at his words and I had to swallow the lump in my throat to reply.

"I didn't know what to say to her until she said those awful things about you. I shouldn't have run away from you then, but believe me, I don't care what they think. I don't care about their stupid ideals and I certainly don't care what they have to say about me anymore. I just won't have them speak ill of you," I said with conviction.

We shared another affectionate gaze until he broke it when he started gathering our belongings, our food forgotten during the exchange. He held out his hand to me and I took it as we walked out of the ice cream parlor and toward the Leaky Cauldron.

We walked in silence, each lost in our deep thoughts until he stopped abruptly before we arrived at the portal that would lead us into the Inn. I looked at him questioningly as he looked like he was arguing with himself. When he finally looked at me, his face took on a decided appearance and he rewarded me with a beaming smile.

"I want to show you something," he said after a moment and he held my arm tightly as he apparated us out of the stone cobbled street in Diagon Alley.

We arrived in a rich looking neighborhood with two towering mansions on either side of a wide street. I fixed him with a confused look, taking a tentative step forward to have a closer look at my surroundings until he addressed me.

"You see that house there?" he asked, pointing toward the bigger of the two mansions. It had a large driveway with giant trees lining up on either side to block the view of the estate and a large fountain that served as a fork in the road.

I nodded in amazement and he grinned sheepishly at me.

"That's the house I sold after my parents died. That's the house I grew up in," he said with a bit of nostalgia in his voice.

My mouth gaped open and it took me several moments of incoherent gasps before the weight of his statement hit me like a freight train. James had grown up in a mansion the size of a small castle. James was far richer than I had been.

As I walked closer to the surrounding gate; my first impulse was to feel hurt that he had withheld such information from me but as I thought back to my time spent with him, my heart swelled with pride and appreciation for the man standing behind me. Even with such immense wealth, he never let it get to his head; he never let it dictate his life. I turned around and looked at him then. His expression was uncertain and I could almost hear him thinking that I would yell at him for keeping me in the dark about it but I never intended to do such a thing.

I quickly closed the gap between us and embraced him in a bone-crushing hug followed by a kiss that held all the love I felt for him.

"Thank you for telling me," I whispered into his ear when I separated my lips from his.

He smiled that infectious smile at me and I took advantage of our position to apparate us both into the lobby of the Leaky Cauldron. I then let go of the embrace and kissed him on the lips one last time before making my way up the stairs towards my room.

"Lily, wait," he called out and I turned around to meet his eyes. They were dancing with joy and a bit of the mischief I had come to know and love. "Are you sure you'll be alright here? What if your parents are looking for you?" he asked and I could see how quickly his features changed into worry.

"I'll try to contact them tomorrow if it makes you feel better," I responded before proceeding with my backwards walk up the stairs.

He smiled and held me back again.

"Let me get you a room in a hotel, please?" he asked as he walked towards me.

I considered his offer for only a split second before I shook my head.

"I'm perfectly comfortable in the room I have now, James. I have to start living independently if or when my parents decide they don't want me back. Thank you anyway," I replied before he leaped up and crushed me to his body.

"I'll meet you here tomorrow morning for breakfast," he said into my hair before I nodded and finally went up to my room where I knew I would be alone again. Peculiarly, I was okay with that.


	8. Goodbyes

I spent the remainder of my Christmas holidays apparating between James and Sirius' flats. Remus and Peter joined us on the 28th and we made the most of our holidays. Except for the occasional walk through the park, I no longer went into Muggle London, wanting absolutely nothing to do with that part of my life. As promised, I tried to contact my parents but my letters came back unopened. I didn't take the first one that was returned too seriously, thinking the owl had simply made a mistake. But the second time my letter was returned, I knew my parents had made no plans to take me back in.

Knowing that my parents weren't even trying to locate me and were refusing to answer my letters sent me into tears each time I thought too much about it. I was lucky though, I had four caring individuals around me at all times.

We spent New Year's Eve at a party in Weymouth; Sirius met a girl in Diagon Alley one morning as he was making a withdrawal from Gringotts. Sandra was two years older and had graduated from a magical institution in China before coming to work for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures at the Ministry of Magic. She was changing her galleons for what she called 'useless sheets of paper' when Sirius ran right into her, apparently too busy straightening out his leather jacket to notice her at first. They laughed, they talked and she told him she was spending the New Year with her family. They got on immediately and ended up spending the rest of the day talking. She was a very tall, thin girl with an impeccable taste for clothes and we were all immediately mesmerized by her laugh, no doubt the same reason Sirius seemed so taken with her. It was an infectious, throaty burst of exuberance that we couldn't help joining with as she threw her head back in the moment, opening herself up to the world.

As the countdown to midnight began, Sirius and Sandra disappeared to a corner of the room as I noticed Remus talking animatedly with a pretty blonde and Peter lurking by the bar, no doubt trying to get the female bartender's attention. James meanwhile quietly led me to one of the balconies where we had a phenomenal view of the star lit ocean. He held my hand tightly in his and when the clock finally signaled the beginning of the new year, he brought me in for a heart-stopping kiss that filled me up completely. I thought about telling him everything I was feeling for him, but words failed me as he prolonged the kiss, concentrating on every breath I took, every flick of my tongue, committing every sigh to memory. I didn't want to ruin the moment; I just wanted to feel him close to me.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

As the weeks rolled by, I eased back into my school life with a determination that I had never before had in my life. I wanted to prove to myself and my parents if they cared, that I could be successful without their help or the need of a wealthy background leading me through all the right circles. More than that though, I wanted to make James proud of me. I knew that he already saw me as a new person but I wanted him to know that he had a great deal to do with who I had become.

I had been told my entire life that a woman should act in a certain way to please a man that would provide the best life for her and that would instill honor based on his financial accomplishments. Although James certainly seemed to fit that bill, that wasn't why I was trying to please him.

I knew from the start of our seventh year that there was something about him that I needed to get to know, but I never knew the depths of his personality and his passion for what he believed in. After revealing his biggest secret to me, one that only his three closest friends were aware of, a floodgate of information concerning his past opened up to me and I was only too eager to soak it all in.

He regaled me with stories of a loving, if somewhat spoiled, childhood. He wasn't materially spoiled as I was however; it was more of a loving over-protectiveness that came from two parents that were just happy he was there. He was a terror growing up; showing the beginnings of what would make him a legend in his years at Hogwarts. He went through three governesses by the age of seven, not because he was rude or particularly dreadful to them, but because they simply could not keep up with his vivacious attitude. He laughed out loud as he told me about the embarrassed looks his parents would share when they encountered a governess out of breath after having chased a five year old James Potter through the house and into the yard.

"I never did it to spite them, I simply wanted some fresh air and they never wanted to sit outside during our lessons," he explained, trying to hide the blush that was threatening to come to the surface.

His passion for Quidditch had also gotten him into a fair deal of trouble growing up, none more famed than the time he flew out onto the pitch of a Chudley Cannons and Puddlemore United match at the age of eight. It was an end of the season match where the Cannons had absolutely nothing to lose, having been out of the running for the championship all season, and young James had managed to smuggle in his junior broomstick under his father's Invisibility Cloak. How he got a hold of that cloak he wouldn't say, but the moment the match had begun, James leaped out onto the pitch and intercepted the Quaffle, successfully scoring against the Puddlemore United Keeper who was understandably bewildered by the situation. After flying circles around his would be captors, James was finally stopped dead in his tracks by the look on his mother's face when he smiled up at her amidst the chaos.

"I never wanted her to look at me that way again," he said as he recalled the disappointment and anger behind his mother's eyes.

After the age of eleven, James had not so much settled down; he simply had the luxury of performing magic and working closely with Sirius Black, another troublesome young man, to keep him out of obvious trouble. James and Sirius had become instant friends after the obligatory awkward meeting between a Potter and a Black, and had soon embarked on a mission to cause mayhem for their remaining years at Hogwarts.

It was refreshing to hear the ease in which James opened up to me, a comfort I was getting used to and enjoying immensely.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Our first Hogsmeade trip of the second term was scheduled for the day after Valentine's Day. Having spent a quiet and romantic evening by the lake with James the night before, we set out to the small village with Sirius, Remus and Peter for company. After being outnumbered four to one, we quickly made our way to Zonko's Joke Shop where the four boys stocked up on supplies as Peter tried to explain the uses of each item to me.

We then spent the next hour perusing through Honeydukes before going to Gertrude's Kitchen for food and drink. It was the first time since my initial date with James that I had gone into the tiny establishment, but Gertrude immediately began doting on me as the four boys mocked me behind her back. Sirius even went as far as to continue the affectionate remarks once she had taken our orders. James, much to my chagrin, did nothing to discourage him and soon Peter had joined in as he complimented my "porcelain skin," modeling his tone after Gertrude's.

As soon as Gertrude brought out our food, a loud tapping on the window closest to us alerted us of an owl requiring entrance. Remus opened the window and a tawny owl landed swiftly on the table in front of me. I retrieved the small note from its leg and it promptly flew out the way it had come in. The note was from Professor McGonagall, requesting that I meet her in her office immediately.

James and I shared a look before he got up to escort me back to the castle. Sirius made a show of splitting mine and James' platter between him and Peter while Remus rolled his eyes at them, signaling that he would save our food for us.

We hurried up the steps towards the Deputy Headmistress' office, a million different things running through my mind. Professor McGonagall had called on me by owl before, but never with such a short note. It reminded me of the note Alice Newberry had received just a few months ago when she was told that her father had been murdered during a Death Eater attack right outside the Ministry. That note had been short too, and it made me uneasy.

James grasped my hand and squeezed it every time my pace faltered, knowing all too well what was going through my mind. He too had received a note like that the first time his father became ill. He had missed three days of school on that occasion.

The moment the office door came into view, I launched myself at it, earning a worried glance from James.

"Come in," I heard Professor McGonagall say.

I rushed into the office, while James remained rooted to the spot right outside the door. I hesitated before pulling him and pushing him into a chair. Professor McGonagall looked rather taken aback. Perhaps she was surprised with the force with which I pushed him into the room or she simply wasn't expecting me to take James into the meeting with me.

"Perhaps Mr. Potter could wait outside?" she said to me, then turned to James. He made a move to get up from his seat when I put a hand to his arm.

"No, he can stay," I responded in a shaky voice.

"Very well," she said gently, her lips quivering a little bit. "I have called you here this afternoon, Miss Evans, because I have some rather sensitive news to share with you."

The straight line in her lips turned into a frown, and I immediately knew what she was about to say. I grasped James' arm painfully as he began rubbing circles on my hand with his thumb.

"There is really no other way to say this, Lily, but I have just received word that your parents were caught in a house fire just a few miles from your own home, and everybody inside the residence was killed."

The silence was thick after her statement and it took a few seconds for her words to sink into my consciousness.

"I am very sorry, Lily. Professor Dumbledore went out to the scene as soon as he heard. There have been reported Death Eater activities in the area in the past month but we do not yet know if the fire came as a direct attack. He made an effort to contact your sister to see how she was doing but she refused to have anything to do with him. You will be excused from classes this coming Monday. The services for your parents have been set for that day."

I could hear her talking but I wasn't taking in anything that she said. The only thing I had an understanding of was that the last words I had said to my mother and father had come from anger and deep resentment. I would never see my parents again. They died hating me.

There was motion in front of me, and it was a few minutes before I realized that Professor McGonagall had left her office after having shared her condolences with me. I was still sitting in the chair in front of her desk, my nails digging deeper into James' arm. He didn't move and I sensed he was afraid to scare me out of my stupor. As the weight of what I had just heard finally hit me, I loosened my grip on his arm and slowly stood up. I tried to take a step forward but my legs gave out and I landed in a sobbing heap in James' arms. He kissed my forehead and massaged the back of my head as I let out a miserable moan that came from the depths of my heart. The last thing I remember before letting the darkness take me was James' worried face and the way he held me close to his body, almost afraid to lose me.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

As a result of my shocked and fragile state, James had been given permission by Professor Dumbledore to accompany me to my parent's service and committal. Professor Dumbledore warned me not to expect a pleasant reception from my sister but I stupidly thought that the loss of our parents would be enough reason to put our differences aside.

I was sadly mistaken.

Petunia didn't even reserve a seat for me at the front of the church for the service; the front pews were full of people I didn't even know. As if that wasn't bad enough, she looked like she was ready for murder when she saw me at the committal. I saw her prepared to start a war when Vernon held her back, no doubt telling her I wasn't worth the trouble. James meanwhile was never far away and even glared at them from a distance when I was unable to do much but cry.

**"We therefore commit their bodies to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life," the priest said and that's when I lost it completely.**

**Petunia was clinging to Vernon just as I was clinging to James across the lawn. When the service ended, Petunia stepped forward and was the first to grab handfuls of earth to scatter on our parent's coffins. It was a surreal moment, and if not for James' strength and support I would have thrown myself at their graves and begged for the forgiveness I was never going to receive. **

**As the crowd around the graves began to dissipate, Vernon led Petunia towards a tall, blonde man in a business suit. He was holding an official looking envelope in his hand and had a smug expression on his face. I saw the man shake Vernon's hand, then give Petunia a quick hug and a squeeze of her shoulders. As they began to walk towards the limousine, I wriggled out of James' grasp and briskly walked towards them. **

**"…the Last Will and Testament and you'll be on your way," he said right as I got there.**

Petunia fixed me with a glare that normally would have made my skin crawl, but I held my ground.

We stared at each other for an eternity until she finally broke the uncomfortable silence with her piercing and hateful voice.

"You have no right to taint this place with your presence," she said venomously. "You are and have always been a disgrace to this family and whoever gave you the idea that you were welcome here should be shot."

"Petunia, I…" I began before she cut me off.

"If you think that Mother and Father left you anything in their Will, you are deluded. You became nothing to them when you disgraced our family in front of their friends and colleagues that wretched evening. You didn't even exist to them anymore."

At her last statement, Vernon steered her towards the vehicle while the barrister stood guard over me and then James, presumably afraid we would assault them as their backs were turned to us. Silent tears began rolling down my cheeks because I just couldn't believe that my parents would be callous enough as to forget me altogether. I didn't care if my name was in the Will and I didn't care if they left me absolutely nothing; I simply wanted to make Petunia tell me that what she said was a lie, that my parents hadn't forgotten me.

As soon as the lawyer stepped into the limousine, the only family I had left sped off and I turned around to look at James.

"We have to follow them. I refuse to believe my parents would simply erase me from their memories," I sobbed.

"Lily," he started as he rubbed circles around my shoulders. "You shouldn't be spoken to in that manner. Just let them go."

"My parents would never forget about me, James. They might have hated my actions and even said harsh things about me, but they would never disassociate me from the family that way. If I could only see that Will. I don't want their money. I just want to see my name in there so that Petunia can see that she's wrong."

"I'm sorry Lily, but your sister wasn't lying," he said as he raked a hand through his hair.

I looked at him with a million different questions in my eyes, each one begging him to tell me why he looked so certain about what he just told me. When he didn't immediately answer, I began to pull away from him in an attempt to follow the limousine.

"I performed a revealing charm when that guy in the suit wasn't looking and I didn't see your name anywhere in the document," he declared at my retreating form.

His words hit me like a pile of bricks and I began to walk away from him faster, unable to believe what he was telling me. But it was useless. I knew James would never lie to me. I stopped a few yards in front of him and he closed the gap between us, pulling me plush against his body.

"Let's go back to Hogwarts," I whispered in between sobs, and in seconds, he Apparated us into Hogsmeade.

I looked up to gaze into those worried hazel eyes, and then broke down completely. I fell in a heap in the middle of Hogsmeade, bawling so hard that the sound echoed off of every building. James held me, he kissed me, he comforted me in every way he could, but the simple fact that I had been completely forgotten by my own family was hard to take in. He eventually gave up trying to help me stand upright and simply took me in his arms and into the castle.


	9. Certainties

In the weeks that followed the death of my parents and the disastrous meeting between my sister and I, life at Hogwarts had somehow changed. The everyday magic that surrounded my life wasn't enough to bring a smile to my face anymore, and each day that the _Daily Prophet_ brought news of another death came as a personal blow to me. I would have fallen in a depressed state if not for the company of James, Sirius, Remus, Peter and two of my dorm mates. I am not afraid to admit that I turned my nose up at those same two girls on more than one occasion through my seven years at Hogwarts, but I am also the first to admit that I was wrong and that I should have given them a chance instead of looking down at them.

Stacey and Megan were my sounding board and shoulders to cry on in the middle of the night after my frequent nightmares when James wasn't around to comfort me. Those two girls never said a word about my complete and utter disregard of their friendship over the years, and I couldn't thank them enough for looking past how vain I had been. They saw and understood the change in me throughout the year and were fully prepared to ignore the past and look towards the future. I suppose that is what changed most in _me_.

I was always aware that there would be some simple future for me and up until Christmas Eve, I was pretty sure it consisted of a full and healthy life with my family. Since then, and particularly since the death of my parents, my future was much more important to me. I needed to know what I was going to do and I needed to understand that it wouldn't be easy. I no longer looked at a career as a Healer with the eyes of a rejected rich girl that had walked away from a comfortable life and was having fun with her boyfriend. I had become too cynical to think that way. I looked at my career through the eyes of an ordinary girl living in a complicated time and wanting nothing more than to survive with the knowledge that I had done everything in my power to deserve what I had.

My time within the castle walls became more valuable to me as everything at Hogwarts reminded me that I only had a few precious months in that haven before I was thrust out into the cruel world. Likewise, the hours I spent with James had become so treasured that I couldn't imagine a moment without him.

It was in one of my brooding moods one night that I kicked the covers off my bed in frustration and quietly walked out of the seventh year girl's dorms. My destination was clear, as was the reason why I had to do it in the middle of the night. After losing my family the way I did, James had become my rock. He worried about me, he took care of me, he listened to me, and most importantly, he was always there. It didn't matter whether he had Quidditch practice or if the guys ridiculed him afterwards for being so sappy; if I needed him, he was there for me.

As I made my way up to the seventh year boy's dormitories, my stomach began to flutter and my heart began to pound violently against my chest. I was nervous and excited and scared all at the same time. This was James, and I knew him and loved him and wanted to be with him forever, but he didn't know that; I hadn't told him any of that yet. Perhaps he knew already, just as I knew he felt the same way about me, but neither of us had come out and said those three little words that made all the difference.

When I opened the door to the messy room, I was met with four identical four poster beds. I immediately recognized James' portion of the room (the one with the Quidditch paraphernalia on every available wall space) and I tiptoed across the room. I cast a silencing charm around the bed before opening the drapes and climbing in beside him. He was startled by my sudden appearance and sat straight up on the bed looking like a deer caught in the headlights. I placed a cold hand on his bare chest to calm him and he looked at me questioningly.

I choked back a loud sob and put my hand over his heart.

"I love you James Potter," I confessed in a hoarse whisper.

He looked at me sleepily for a few moments, my words not quite registering yet before I repeated myself.

"I love you," I said again, running my hand up to cup his cheek.

His eyes softened and he brought his hand up to place it over mine.

"Lily," he breathed before he pulled me against him and we met for a heart warming kiss that had so many emotions running through it.

He pulled away and kissed my nose, my forehead, my cheeks and my lips again.

"God Lily, I love you so much," he said with such meaning that my heart almost burst out of my chest.

I began to kiss him again, hoping he understood just how much he meant to me, but no words could ever describe such a feeling. His warm, strong arms held me tight against him as my arms snaked around his neck. I swung one leg over his body to get more comfortable and it only half crossed my mind that I should stop before we went any further, but I couldn't bring myself to pull away. When he drew away from me for much needed breath, he repeated those three words that made me feel so complete and I gave him the one thing I could to show him just how much I loved, cherished, and needed him.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Life would have been so different without James. I spent six years at Hogwarts segregating myself from those who had become the world to me in my last year. As I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I no longer saw the girl who looked down on everyone because they were different. A woman with morals, compassion and experience looked back at me instead. James had given me his whole heart and I'd opened mine up completely to him in return. He never pushed me to do or act in any way that I wasn't comfortable with. I in turn let him see me completely, not just on the outside, but I opened myself up from within by letting him see each and everyone one of my flaws.

He never judged me, and I learned to look at myself in so many different ways. Gone was the girl who pouted because a boy she had just spoken to for the first time said she was conceited. In her place stood a person who was self deprecating and could give as much as she could take. James made it all so easy for me that I wondered in the back of my mind what had taken me so long to realize who I really was.

I was me. Finally, always.

END

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

A/N: This was a very short chapter, and it is the final chapter of this story. I will be putting an Epilogue up soonish, so the story doesn't completely end there. My goal with this story was to never go past their years at Hogwarts because I always get a little depressed thinking about how young they were when they died, and I didn't want to put my rendition of the two characters through all that :D Call me a sap, but there you have it. I hope you all enjoyed my little story, as it took me several years to finally post it after initially writing it. A big thank you to those of you who read it and a bigger thank you to those of you who reviewed it.


	10. Epilogue

Perfect.

It was selfish of me to believe that my life was just that, but I couldn't help myself. Sitting out by the lake, surrounded by those closest to me, I felt a sort of euphoria unknown to anyone else in the castle. After years of conforming to what everyone else expected me to be, I was finally able to be myself, on my terms. There would always be an empty part in my heart; the part where my parent's love used to be but I learned to come to grips with what had become of our relationship before they died. James played a big part in helping me understand that a parent could never really hate their child, no matter how many hateful things were said and no matter how many letters went unopened. Petunia was a different story, and not even James was able to cure the hurt that I carried with me every time something or someone reminded of my only living relative.

But I was finally happy, despite everything that happened. My life had changed so drastically over the course of my last year at Hogwarts that I considered the fact that I was agonizing over a graduation speech a miracle in itself. I still had my doubts; Muggle deaths were rising and Voldemort had made his presence known more and more all over the world.

My classes, my friends.

They were what kept me from thinking about the death and destruction occurring outside the castle walls, yet somehow there were always moments throughout the day that a blind panic would overtake me. This was it. I was graduating from Hogwarts and apart from my great plans to go on to become a Healer, I had no one but my school friends to lean on.

I shuffled the papers in front of me a little bit and looked out to my left. Sirius and Peter were lazily throwing stones into the lake; Sirius charming his to go a much further distance than was humanly possible as to disturb the giant squid. Remus was having an animated conversation with my dorm mate Megan; of course only someone with personal knowledge of Remus' mannerisms would know that he was actually being animated. James meanwhile was lying down to my right, reading the _Daily Prophet_ and lightly playing with the hem of my skirt. I gently tugged on his hair to get his attention and was rewarded with the kind of smile that could light up a room.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, his smile firmly in place.

"I'm obsessing over my graduation speech," I smiled in return.

"You mean that one I haven't started yet? I wouldn't worry too much about it; you'll probably bring the house down with yours," he replied easily.

I tugged on his hair again; a gentle reprimand letting him know that I didn't approve of his procrastination, but I leaned down to kiss him anyway. When I pulled away he stared at me for a long moment, trying to read my expression. James is the only person that can see right through me, and sometimes I think he knows what I'm thinking before I do. He observes something in my eyes and I always know when he sees past my distractions. He doesn't probe; he just sits up and crashes his lips to mine, a combination of tender and desperate. It's the type of assurance I need in that moment and he knew just when to give it to me.

When we pull apart I keep my eyes closed and try to hold onto the moment forever. Even in the comfort of his embrace, in the middle of the grounds at Hogwarts, behind countless charms protecting us, I feel a panic and desperation to memorize every small moment. Who knows when it will all come crashing down around us?

"Stop thinking about death and destruction," he guesses correctly.

I remain silent for a few moments and he waits patiently. He's always been so patient.

"What if He breeches the castle walls? What if Dumbledore can't protect us from him?" I asked loudly and turned to the rest of our group.

"Lils, you know Dumbledore would never let that happen," Sirius responded lazily.

"What would He Who Shall Not Be Named want with a bunch of Hogwarts students straight out of school?" Peter asked.

"He would want to make sure we know he's a threat to us anywhere, even behind Dumbledore's protection," I responded hysterically, my endless frustrations becoming evident.

"Dumbledore's taken every precaution possible," Remus soothed, smiling at me in that calming way.

"I know, but…" I started but was gently cut off.

"Lily, listen to me," James began. "We are all going to be fine. You're going to go up to that podium later today and put my speech to shame because let's be honest, no one's going to be listening to me after what Sirius has planned," he grinned before holding onto my hand. "After that you're going to shed happy tears with the knowledge that you're getting out of this place and will finally be able to get hammered without drawing suspicion from McGonagall."

Sirius burst out laughing and James' grin grew wider. I looked out towards the rest of our little group again and let out a breath I wasn't aware I was holding. As my friends smiled back at me, all of my paranoia's and misgivings slowly ebbed away and I was left with the relief I had been yearning for all week. These people knew me. They knew exactly what to say and when to say it to make all those fears go away and in that moment, I knew everything was going to work out just fine.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

So that's it. Thanks to those of you who reviewed and apologies for taking a lot longer to post this up than originally planned :D


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